Mother’s Day for Separated Mums

This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day. It is an opportunity for everyone to pay tribute to all mother figures in their lives and thank them for all their love and support.

For separated or single mothers however, this day can come along with its own set of problems. Mother’s Day may be an upsetting and poignant reminder that family life has undergone substantial upheaval and change. Mums should keep in mind however that the point of Mother’s Day is to highlight the importance of their role in raising and nurturing their children.

In the countdown towards Mother’s Day and in order to make the most of this occasion, we recommend the following:

1. Plan in advance and talk your ex-partner

Parenting arrangements, whether a Parenting Plan or Court Orders, usually avoids any confusion as to whether the children are to spend Mother’s Day with their mothers. It avoids any potential difficult conversations and gives both parties certainty. However, if this is not the case and arrangements have not been put in place, we recommend communicating with your ex-partner as soon as possible to make arrangements that the children spend the day with you.

2. If you have recently separated, avoid pressuring the children to celebrate

Children often need time to come to terms with the new parenting arrangements. As such, we recommend finding an activity that is more subtle for you and the children to enjoy doing on Mother’s Day. This will alleviate the stress on the children who notice the absence of the ex-partner during celebratory events.

3. If you are unable to be with your children on Mother’s Day, find an activity to do that will make you happy and organise another day on which you and children can celebrate together

If parenting arrangements have not been put in place, and your ex-partner does not agree with the children spending Mother’s Day with you, we recommend indulging yourself in something special. Pick an activity that gives you joy and treat yourself in celebration of the role you play as a mother. Also, we recommend organising an activity on another day in which you will be with your children to celebrate. Mother’s Day is about the thought and sentiment after all.

At Nolan Lawyers we believe that irrespective of what day of the year it is, parents should provide a supportive and loving environment for their children and remain ‘child focused’ after separation. Understanding and compromise is required between parties on days like Mother’s Day, taking into account the best interests of the children.

On behalf of the team at Nolan Lawyers, we wish all mothers a wonderful Mother’s Day!